Thirteen is a Bad, Bad Number
by Elven Warrior
Summary: Sam and Rose need a break from their thirteen kids. They leave Frodo, Pippin and Merry in charge of babysitting. Little do they know what they are really getting themselves into. Rating changed for later chapters. Please R&R! Thanks!
1. Enough is Enough

Thirteen is a Bad, Bad Number  
  
Chapter One:  
  
Enough is Enough  
  
  
  
It was a typical day in Hobbiton. The sun was shining and the birds were singing their usually joyous songs. Though calm in appearance, this was not so in the Gamgee household.  
  
"Merry Gardener, you stop that crying this instant!" said Rose.  
  
"But Momma! Pippin hit me!" said Merry.  
  
"What's going on in here?" asked Sam as he walked in the door. "I can hear you yelling from the garden outside!"  
  
"Your children are fighting, again!" exclaimed his less than pleased wife.  
  
Sam stood there looking back and forth between his children and his aggravated wife. He sighed and said, "That's it. We need a break. I can't take it anymore. Rose, we're going away for a while."  
  
"But who will watch the children? Who are you going to trick into babysitting all thirteen of them?" she asked. Sam could tell by the look on her face that she was just as tired and annoyed as he was right now.  
  
"I think I know who we can get to watch them," he said as he smirked at his wife.  
  
  
  
"Come on you guys! I know you can do this. Besides, Merry, Pippin, you love the kids, and they love you. You're just another toy to them. They adore you too, Frodo. Come on, what do you say?" Sam asked, looking at his good friends.  
  
"Fine, I'll do it, but Merry and Pippin had better help. I'm only one person, and I can't watch thirteen kids all by myself," said Frodo, looking at Merry and Pippin.  
  
"Well, I guess we'll help to. Not like we've got anything else better to do than cause trouble," said Pippin before Merry could answer.  
  
"Thanks a lot you guys. Rose and I really need this vacation. We won't be gone that long, we're just going to Bree," said Sam, smiling at the very thought of getting away from his kids for a week.  
  
  
  
It was the next morning and Merry, Pippin, and Frodo had gotten up early to see Sam and Rose off, and to make sure they were there before any of the children woke up.  
  
"Bye Sam, Rose! Have fun, and enjoy it while it lasts!" said the babysitting trio. They continued waving until they could barely see Sam and Rose walking down the road.  
  
Frodo sighed and went to go back inside. "Why do I have the feeling this is going to be a very long week?" he asked.  
  
"Probably because we agreed to baby-sit Sam's thirteen kids for a week, and we have no idea what we're doing," said Pippin with a smirk on his face.  
  
"Correction, you two agreed, and I was volunteered. All thanks to my close friend, Peregrin Took," he said.  
  
Pippin cringed at the sound of him being called by his proper name. He had always been called Pippin, and he hated it when people called him 'Peregrin'. "Well, Meriadoc, Frodo and I can't do this by ourselves. Stop whining, it'll be fun!" he said, but in his heart he didn't really believe it.  
  
"Can you two stop with the names already? Last thing we need is for your arguing to wake up the children. Enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasts!" said Frodo. By this point he was convinced he was the only one who really knew how hard this was, but none of them knew exactly what they had gotten themselves into until later that morning.  
  
  
  
Well, what do you guys think so far? I plan on continuing it whether you like it or not, but don't worry, it's gonna get better. 


	2. Hey, This Isn't So Bad!

Thirteen is a Bad, Bad Number  
  
Chapter Two:  
  
Hey, This Isn't so Bad!  
  
  
  
The three Hobbits had been sitting at the kitchen table talking quietly, waiting for the time when the children would awaken. They had only been sitting for about an hour when they heard quiet footsteps padding down the hall towards the kitchen.  
  
They continued talking until the little figure stood in the doorway. "Good morning Tolman!" said Frodo in a cheery voice. The youngest for the Gamgee children, now named Gardener, stood there sleepily in his pajamas, sucking his thumb. His hair was a mess, and he looked like he had just woken up from a deep, deep sleep.  
  
The three older Hobbits had to chuckle at the sight of the little child. Tolman, was indeed the youngest, smallest, and the most adorable. He took his thumb out of his mouth and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.  
  
"Momma?" said Tolman, looking around for a sign of his Mother. Rose and Sam had told the children they were leaving the day before, and said that they would not see them the next morning, but being only a toddler, Tolman probably forgot, or just didn't understand what he had been told.  
  
When he saw no sign of his Mother, or Father, his eyes welled up with tears, and he began to sniffle. "…Momma…" he said on a quiet, but squeaky voice. He still spoke like a baby, for he had only said his first word a month ago.  
  
Frodo went over to the crying Hobbit child and picked him up. He carried him back to the chair at the table and rested him on his knee so that he was facing him. "Tolly, Momma and Papa went away for a little while. We're going to stay here and watch you and your brothers and sisters while they're gone, alright?" he said.  
  
Tolman, or Tolly, as everyone called him, was still crying, but not as bad as he had been. He nodded and wiped the tears off his face using the back of his small hand. Frodo gave the little Hobbit a hug, and Tolly smiled. "…Uncle Fwodo..." he said quietly. This made Frodo laugh at the way Tolman said his name. He was surprised that he could say 'uncle' almost correctly, but he was still having a hard time saying any words that had 'R's in them.  
  
He pulled Tolly away from him and turned him around. "You remember Uncle Merry and Uncle Pippin don't you?" he asked the child.  
  
"Uh-huh…" he said, smiling at the other two older Hobbits. Merry and Pippin were always the favorites of the children's because they acted like little kids. Merry and Pippin smiled at him.  
  
"Can you say hello to them?" asked Frodo, trying to encourage the shy child to speak. He had inherited his Father's shyness. Actually, all of Sam's children had, but some of them were beginning to grow out of it.  
  
"Hewwo, Uncle Mewwy! Hewwo Uncle Pippy!" Tolly said in a louder, more excited tone than before. The two laughed. Merry leaned in and patted the child on the head, and messing up his hair even more than before. Pippin got up and picked the child up off of Frodo's lap. He carefully threw the child up in the air and caught him again. This caused Tolly to smile and giggle.  
  
Pippin carried Tolly back over to the chair where he had been sitting, and rested the child on his lap. The three babysitters began to talk again, with the youngest of the Gardener children listening intently. It was then that they heard yet another pair of footsteps padding down the hallway.  
  
Another figure, not much bigger than Tolman, stood in the doorway this time. In his pajamas, and hair messed up, as if he too had had a good nights sleep, the child stood there rubbing his eyes.  
  
"Well look who it is!" said Merry, looking at the child. "How are you this fine morning, Robin?" he asked.  
  
Robin stood there and blinked in confusion. "Uncle Mewwy?" he asked. Robin was the second youngest child, and still just a baby, he talked a little better than Tolman did.  
  
"Well, don't forget us!" said Pippin. He smiled when he saw the look on the child's face. His eyes had widened at the sound of Pippin's voice, because from the doorway he had only noticed Merry. Robin gave a big smile when he noticed that all three of his favorite Uncles were there.  
  
Robin slowly made his way over to the chair where Frodo sat. He stood in front of him and reached up towards Frodo. Frodo picked him up and put him on his lap so he could see across to the other side of the table where Merry and Pippin sat, with Pippin holding his younger brother.  
  
Robin looked around and then said, "Momma and Papa go buh-byes?"  
  
"Yes, they left this morning. We're going to watch you for a while. We'll have a lot of fun, won't we?" Merry said with a smirk on his face.  
  
Robin and Tolly both smiled, for they knew what that meant. They'd probably end up playing the entire time, and they would love every moment of it.  
  
"Hey, you guys," said Frodo. "Did you notice that so far the children have woken up starting with the youngest, and then going up to the second oldest?"  
  
"Now that you mention it, yes," said Merry.  
  
"Hmm… your right," said Pippin.  
  
"I think we should wait and see if this little pattern continues…" said Frodo.  
  
The five Hobbits sat there, and talked, waiting to see if the children really would continue to wake up in this order…  
  
  
  
  
  
You asked for more, and I wrote it. I just wanted to thank all of the people who were kind enough to review this, and I'm very glad you liked it. Check back soon for additional chapters! 


	3. I Think We Were Right

Thirteen is a Bad, Bad Number  
  
Chapter 3:  
  
I Think We Were Right  
  
  
  
The five Hobbits were still sitting at the kitchen table talking when yet another of the children came out. This time, as they had guessed, it was the next oldest in the family. They youngest of Sam and Rose's daughters, Ruby, slowly made her way down the hallway.  
  
She peeked her head around the doorway to see who was there. She spotted her three Uncles and her two little brothers, smiled, and came out into the kitchen.  
  
"Well, here's our little princess now!" said Merry as he went and picked up the little girl. She giggled, and hugged Merry. "Did we sleep well?" he asked his youngest niece.  
  
"Yes!" she said.  
  
"Good, I'm glad. You guys are going to have a busy day," he said as he carried her back over to his chair.  
  
"Hello Uncle Pippin, and Uncle Frodo." She said. She was older than Robin, and her speech still had that childish tone, but she was doing quite well.  
  
"Wuby! Wuby! Wuby!" said Tolman, unable to say her name properly. He bounced up and down in Pippin's lap when he did this, for by this point in time he was fully awake.  
  
"No, Tolly! Its Ruby! Not Wuby! Rooh-Beeh!" she said, trying desperately to get her youngest brother to say her name correctly.  
  
The three of the children's uncles just sat there and laughed. "You should be quiet," said Pippin. "You wouldn't want to wake the rest of your brothers and sisters, would you?"  
  
"They wake up soon, too," said Robin, who for a while had been quiet. "But not Elly. She too lazy to get up!" he added. Frodo laughed and hugged the boy he was holding on his lap. Elanor, or Elly, as her younger siblings called her, was Sam and Rose's eldest child.  
  
Then they heard something coming towards the kitchen. It was, as expected, the next oldest child, Bilbo, named after Frodo's own Uncle, Bilbo Baggins. He came out and stood in front of the table looking at them all. He was slightly taller than Ruby was, and looked the same way the other two boys had when they came out earlier that morning.  
  
He yawned and stretched, and looked at the other Hobbits in the room. He was still sleepy, so he just waved instead of saying something. "Well hull-o there Bilbo!" said Merry.  
  
"Well, that's four down, nine to go," said Pippin.  
  
Bilbo looked at them for a moment, confused. "What are you talking about?" he asked curiously.  
  
"We are trying to see how long it takes for all of you to get up, and in what order you do it in," replied Frodo.  
  
"Oh… okie," said Bilbo.  
  
Then Robin spoke up again, saying," I fink Pwimwose and Daisy will wake up soon."  
  
"Do you now?" asked Frodo. "That would be quite a surprise."  
  
Amazingly, just as Robin had predicted, Primrose came out into the kitchen, followed by her older sister Daisy. They looked around for a moment, then the two remembered what their parents had told them the day before, and it slowly began to click in their heads.  
  
"Well, that certainly was strange!" said Pippin.  
  
"What was strange?" asked a rather sleepy Daisy.  
  
"So far, all of you have woken up in order from youngest to oldest," said Merry. "We are wondering if the rest of your brothers and sisters would come out here in the same manner as you six have."  
  
"Ohhhh," said Primrose, trying to interpret what she had just been told in her, not-so-awake, head.  
  
"I guess we will just have to wait and see…" said Frodo.  
  
  
  
  
  
Hey, well, that's six down, seven to go. I know you guys want to know what happens after all the little kiddies wake up, but you're going to have to wait! I'll have the next chapters up sometime soon, enjoy! 


	4. So Far, So Good

Thirteen is a Bad, Bad Number  
  
Chapter 4:  
  
So Far, So Good  
  
  
  
Frodo, Merry, and Pippin were sitting at the kitchen table with the other six children. Frodo now sat with Tolly and Primrose, one on each knee. Pippin still had Ruby, as well as Robin. Merry had Bilbo on his lap, and Daisy, being the oldest awake at this point, was sitting in a chair of his own.  
  
"Well, this isn't so bad," said Merry. "My legs are starting to hurt... but, hey, I'm not complaining. You children certainly are getting big!"  
  
"Merry, don't start. You've only got one! Look at me, I've got two," said Pippin, laughing.  
  
"Will you too stop fooling around? I don't want to have to listen to this for a week! For the children's sake, knock it off," said Frodo.  
  
At this, yet another set of footsteps came down the hallway. It was in fact, the next oldest, Hamfast, who had been named after the good old Gaffer himself, Hamfast Gamgee, his grandfather. "You guys sure are loud. You woke me up!" Hamfast said, with a look of disgust on his face.  
  
"Sorry about that," said Merry. "It is a little hard to keep the little ones quiet."  
  
"I wasn't talking about them, Uncle Merry. I was talking about you and Uncle Pippin!" Hamfast said with a giggle.  
  
Frodo chuckled at this little joke and took another good look at his other nephew. He was taller than all his younger siblings were, and he looked older than they did as well. He resembled his father, Sam, very much, but like the rest of the children, the part they received of their mother always showed as well.  
  
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of another child coming down the hallway. As guessed, it was Goldilocks*, the next oldest. He came into the kitchen, looked around, blinked, and then sat down, rubbing her eyes.  
  
She was the most beautiful of all the children, due to her lovely golden locks, hence her name. "Good morning, Goldilocks!" said Bilbo. She just looked at her brother and showed a small smile. She was really too tired to say anything.  
  
"Five more to go!" said Pippin, who had started fidgeting with the tow children on his lap, either because his lap was beginning to hurt, or he was growing bored. The latter was a greater possibility.  
  
"I can't wait," said Frodo. He knew that once all the children were up, this calm setting would be gone. Not just gone, but destroyed. Silence and peace would all be stripped away and the adorable little children would turn into the equivalent of hungry orcs on the hunt.  
  
The nightmare in his mind was once again interrupted by even more footsteps. Here came little Pippin and Merry. Generally, this would not have been a problem, but these two, over time, had turned into the junior trouble-making duo. In other words, the newer, younger, more energetic, soon-to-be replacements of their uncles in the Shire.  
  
They walked out took one look at their three uncles sitting at the kitchen table, remembering that their parents were gone for a week, looked back and forth between eachother and their uncles. They smiled, gave eachother a 'high five', and yelled, "Yes!"  
  
"Don't you two go and get too excited about this. We intend on keeping everything nice and orderly, don't we boys?" asked Frodo. By the look Frodo gave them, Merry and Pippin knew how they should answer, if they liked their lives.  
  
"Yes, sir!" they both said in unison.  
  
The two boys sat down, sulking. They knew that if they tried later, they could get their uncles going, and it would be a blast.  
  
"Two more down, three to go. Then the fun begins," said Pippin.  
  
  
  
  
  
Well, there you go, chapter four. I've been having writers block lately, and as you also know I'm also working on 'My Burden', so my time is split down the middle. I'll try to finish this one ASAP, so I can please all my fans. BTW- thanks for the reviews! 


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